Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"
Next one
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, and after finishing their dinner they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend.
"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." "I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" exclaims Watson. "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson ponders for a minute. "Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?" "Watson, you idiot!" he exclaims, "Somebody's stolen our tent!"
Next..
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."
And the last one's a little short..
"What kind of murderer has moral fibre?" — "A cereal killer."
The second is simply epic! xD
ReplyDeletethis is real cereal jokes right here
ReplyDeleteI laughed with the last one
ReplyDeletecuper sool btory sro,
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cereal killer.. luld
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they are funny lol..
ReplyDeleteSweet!<3
ReplyDeletebahah
ReplyDeletespreading the loooove! :D
the bus one got to me XD
ReplyDeleteAs ever your jokes are a killer !
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The first one is best, thanks for sharing :D
ReplyDeleteLOL these are awesome. Also left some support.
ReplyDeletehttp://ye-yepop.blogspot.com/
hahahaa
ReplyDeleteThe second one should have been the funniest. I love that one.
ReplyDelete