Wednesday, 15 September 2010

The automated doctor

One day, Pete complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts. I guess
I should see a doctor." His friend said, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can
diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine, and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10.00.

Pete figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00.

The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper which read:

You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor. It will be better in two weeks.

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool
sample from his dog, and urine samples
from his wife and daughter. To top it
off, he masturbated into the concoction.
He went back to the drug store, located the computer, poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00.

The machine again made the usual noises, flashed lights, and printed out the following analysis:

Your tap water is too hard.
Get a water softener.

Your dog has ringworm.
Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.

Your daughter is using cocaine.
Put her in a rehabilitation clinic.

Your wife is pregnant . . . twin girls.
They aren't yours.
Get a lawyer.

And if you don't stop jerking off, your elbow will never get better.


  1. haha worth the read

  2. this made me laugh :)

  3. cool!supportin bro :)

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  4. Ha ha thats a good one mate


  5. hahahah the last line had me lol'ing

  6. lifehack guy supports your blog..

  7. I'm glad to see you're beating inertia today.

  8. I could see the joke about his wife pregnant with children that weren't his coming but the tennis elbow part made me laugh.

  9. hahahhahahahahaaha love that superbot!!!!


  10. Bahahaha. Good stuff.

    Keep up the good work!

  11. New Blog Post and 9/15 love!

  12. your posts keep getting better and better!

  13. nice, keep up the work

  14. Showing my daily support. Fight the power.

  15. Haha, those were some good ones. Supporting!

  16. If you would see me laughing you would laugh too !

  17. whoa! long but worth the read! hahaha

  18. i lold
    return the comment and f5's . love anon

  19. That's a pretty brilliant joke. Did you make it up? Either way, I love your blog and I'm following you. :D

    I have a blog as well, which you can follow if you're interested. It's the life story of a badass, modern Pecos-Bill-type character told in near-daily vignettes. I'm looking for actual readers, rather than just clickers/supporters, so if anyone's interested, feel free to take a look. =)

  20. oh my lawd.
    fucking hilarious every time.
    props again bro

  21. A little long, but damn well worth it.

  22. lmfao0o0ooo epic supporting all the way
    check out my page

  23. All knowing computer doctor, lol.